If You Think the Posted Speed Limit Is Something to Strive for…

put down the car keys and apologize for ever being. The only reason I knew how slow this ‘thing’ was driving was because I could count it on the watch of the seeping-wound-of-a-man on a cane passing him on the sidewalk. Why anyone would dare to drive 4mph ANYWHERE EVER is beyond me. And not... Continue Reading →


I’m a planner so just chill

Courtesy of Buzzfeed I'm not saying it will happen. Not at all. Or at least not any time soon. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be around to annoy everyone for way, way, WAY too long. Too long for you, too long for me, to the point of, "Seriously! Just shoot it already." But just... Continue Reading →

The Methodology Behind the Bookshelf

The next door neighbor was putting this cheap-o shelf outside for anyone pick up so I grabbed it. It was all white laminate and kind of ugly but I needed a bookshelf. Since the neighbors were outside, I actually asked them before trying to run off with it, which I normally wouldn’t do. Before you... Continue Reading →

Basement Scrote

Did you know that it was actually possible to take the high road in social media? It’s true. It happens all the time. As the trolls are out trolling, being assholes, banking those negative karma points, it is possible to actually ignore them and move on. Ours has become a very bare-naked, explosively explicit, vulnerable... Continue Reading →

Add “Pigeon-hole” to My Murder?

It happens. My little girly brain thinks about things; even stuff not relating to ducks. But, as you know, thinking is tough for the penis-less. We’re just silly girls made for pairing and breeding; not thinking or obstinately expressing those thoughts. I mean, what else are we here for? Not much else, I can assure... Continue Reading →

Beautiful Day for a Bitchy Rant

Here’s a little tip; something you may not know about me. A Pro-Mo tip, if you will. There’s no real reason why you should know this so don’t get all angsty for not knowing something, even though I’m totally appalled at your misstep. How can I count on you, faithful reader, to properly stalk me... Continue Reading →

A No Toast Zone-type Day in the Park

Get your hands out of your lap, Maintenance Guy. There's an axe with your name on it.

Reflections on the Moon

Of course, it just could be my mood. It could be the “reflective” part of my PMS swing. The part that is deep, contemplative, meaningful…right before the terror begins.

Molotov Ink: One woman’s explosive tale

It all began when I decided that being the smartest, funniest, always correct, most meticulous and insightful editor, most fascinating writer, and extremely creative book cover designer in the room wasn't enough. I felt had to bless everyone by sharing my natural skills and talents so otherwise lacking in the world of commerce. And I'm... Continue Reading →

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