I can be really slow on the uptake sometimes but this was ridiculous.

I was in the CVS just now and got the weird feeling people were giving me an unusually wide berth. I didn’t know anyone in there but I got the feeling people were rushing to get out of my way. I actually saw someone scurry.

As I casually debated with the checker the differences between, “hoping things can always get better” versus “praying things don’t get worse,” (guess which side I was on), and he sped up his procedure did I realize why people were slowly migrating towards the exits and out of my way.

All told, I don’t blame them now that I see it.

Each one of these things wouldn’t cause alarm in a collective group but when you put them together…my basket filled with dry cat food, a mega-double bottle of I’m-pretending-I’m-sharing-this-with-someone-at-home-but-I’m-so-clearly-not wine, wet cat food, an economy-size box of Playtex Sport for all the trampolining and horseback riding I’m doing later, a gallon of chocolate ice cream, then throw in the fact that I’m dressed like the Unabomber at 10:30 at night, I could see why everyone looked like they were crouched at the start of a 100-yard dash.

Had I witnessed…me, I’d be the first one pushing the old lady out of the way to get to the exit.

Little did they know that the worst that could possibly happen is me being a little verbally grouchy. Though I’ve heard my “grouchy” has brought grown men to tears.

Well, no matter. I’m home.

And! The checker-dude was right after all, things did get better. No one in tears and I have ice cream. Cheers!